Family & Relationship
Don’t Ever Say These Phrases To Your Kids, It Will Cause Real Emotional Harm As They Grow
Too frequently, a parent’s worst regret is linked to something they said to their children out of rage or frustration that was thoughtless or harsh. Sometimes we simply say foolish things without stopping to think about the immediate impact or the potential long-term emotional harm they may cause on our kids.
We are aware that being a parent is challenging but being proactive and maintaining a calm, pleasant communication style is the best approach to shaping your kid’s emotions and mindset.
According to research from Stanford University, by carefully selecting their words and behaviors, parents can greatly lessen the emotional harm they cause to their children.
The main tactics are to steer clear of criticism, concentrate on positive reinforcement, and set an example of appropriate emotional expression.
If you would prefer not to say something you regret, this list is an excellent place to start for parents who want to have the appropriate words for the right situation.
- “You Give Me Headache.”
There are several things parents should never say when it comes to raising children. Phrases such as ” You Give Me a Headache,” “You’re such a burden” or “I’m so disappointed in you,” can seriously harm a child’s sense of self.
Instead, make an effort to speak in ways that will uplift your child and make them feel good about themselves. For example, you may say “I’m proud of you,” “You are doing great” or “I know you’re trying your best,” “I Love you,” etc.
Naturally, each child is unique, so it’s critical to modify your language to meet their needs.
- “Your Brother Can Do It — Why Can’t You?”
Never compare your child to anyone not even their siblings. Refrain from making favorable or negative comparisons between children.
Instead, highlight one particular excellent trait or action and encourage them by saying “You can do anything that you put your mind to.”
- ‘Don’t Be Angry (or sad, anxious, or hurt, etc.)’
Avoid saying, “Don’t be mad (or hurt, sad, nervous, etc.).” Rather, say, “It’s acceptable to be angry.
Keep your cool and assist them in processing their feelings. Help them learn to recognize triggers, encourage them to verbally express their anger, and assist them in creating coping mechanisms.
- “All Of This Is Your Fault.”
“This is your fault” is a phrase I would never want to use with a child. Our society is rife with guilt, condemnation, and blame.
The best method to educate children is to reassure them that everyone makes mistakes, that we are all here on earth to learn how to be and do better, and that we are all learning as we grow older day by day.
- “What Is Wrong With You?” Or “Is Something Wrong With You?”
This question conveys to a child that they are “different or weird” or that there is something about them that is wrong.
Hearing “What’s wrong with you?” is the hardest thing that might make someone feel less confident even adults not to talk of kids. The frantic search for personal shortcomings starts, your defenses are raised, and your internal judgment wheels turn.
It is awful to say this to a child who is still discovering who they are and how the world functions and the effects may last a lifetime.
First, address your opinions about the child and the scenario if your youngster has misbehaved, failed their exams, or perhaps done something terrifying. Say words like “What is troubling you”. This word choice separates the child from the problem instead of making the child the problem.
- ‘You’re Very Intelligent’
Instead of saying, “Well done, you’re very intelligent’. Say comments like “You must be so proud!” and “You put in a lot of effort!”
The best case scenario is for them to pursue their own approval and derive pride and fulfillment from it.
- “What You Say Is Irrelevant.”
Never say, “What you say does not matter,” when correcting a child. Say something like, “I know you’re upset about this outcome, but I will always value what you have to say. I adore you, and you are important to me.”
- “I Wish You Were More Like….”
This is the worst statement you can say to your children. Their individualism, psychological safety, and sense of self-worth can all be destroyed by these remarks.
Saying things like, “It’s okay to fail at things,” will instead position your youngster for success and emotional stability. “The fact that we do our best is more important.” Or “I am completely confident in your talents. “Put in your utmost best next time.”
- “You Will Never Amount To Anything.”
Dear parents, never tell your child “You will never amount to anything when you grow up.”
Say something like this instead: “I’m worried that your actions and attitude are leading you down a path that may prevent you from reaching your greatest potential. I believe you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, and I hope you see this as well so you can start making smart decisions.”
- “We Are Unable To Afford That.”
When your child demands something from you, never say to your child that you “can’t afford that”. Saying this to them is creating a mentality that will make them feel poor and inadequate for the rest of their lives.
Instead say, “We are going to use our money for something else right now.” That emphasizes choice in managing your financial flow rather than a lack of funds or resources.
I hope you find this article helpful.
Kindly share with us what other phrases parents shouldn’t say to their kids. God bless us all and make us good Parents/Guardians to our children, Amen.