Motherhood: Breaking Generational Cycles: Raising Children Differently (3)

Hello Great Mothers!

“Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Does that sound familiar?

When Grace scraped her knee after a fall, this was her mother’s response. Instead of comfort, she was met with dismissal—just like many of us were growing up.

Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Suppression: Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children

Parents often encouraged emotional suppression in past generations, believing it built resilience. Instead of validating our feelings, our parents taught us to suppress our emotions, toughen up, and stay silent. While well-intended, this approach led to emotionally disconnected adults who struggle to express their feelings, set boundaries, or navigate relationships.

When children are discouraged from expressing their emotions, they see their feelings as weaknesses rather than a natural part of life. This can lead to:

1) Low self-esteem – Feeling unheard can make children believe their emotions don’t matter.

2) Difficulty forming relationships – Suppressed emotions hinder trust and vulnerability.

3) Poor conflict resolution skills – Bottled-up feelings often surface in unhealthy ways.

4) Emotional distance from parents – If children don’t feel safe sharing their struggles at home, they will turn to friends—who may not always provide the right guidance.

As adults, many still find it difficult to say, “I’m hurt,” “I need help,” or “I love you” because they never had the space to practice emotional expression as children.

How can this cycle of parenting style be broken?

1)Validate, Don’t Dismiss

Instead of “You’re overreacting,” try “I see you’re upset—do you want to talk about it?” This makes children feel heard, valued, and respected.

2)Teach Emotional Intelligence

Help kids recognize and name their emotions. For example, “It looks like you’re frustrated because you could not solve the mathematics. That’s upsetting, isn’t it?” How can I help?

3)Create a Safe Space for Open Communication

Encourage children to express their feelings without fear of punishment. Family check-ins or bedtime chats foster trust and openness.

Breaking the cycle of emotional suppression doesn’t mean raising undisciplined children, it means raising children who are free to express, and healthily regulate their emotions. When we embrace emotional openness, we raise confident, self-assured children who can easily go through life and relationships.

How do you encourage open communication in your home? Kindly share your thoughts below!

Note: Motherhood is more than an obligation—it’s a legacy of love, strength, and purpose that lasts beyond a lifetime