In a recent humorous yet thought-provoking discussion regarding cultural expectations in marriage, Nollywood actor Daniel Etim-Effiong addressed why his wife, Toyosi, no longer kneels to serve him, even though she did so during their traditional wedding.
The actor asked sarcastically why this custom had not been carried on since their wedding day as he humorously recalled their traditional wedding ceremony, in which Toyosi knelt to give him cake, on an episode of their podcast.
He asked, “Why can’t you kneel down and serve me? You know when we did our traditional wedding, you knelt down to give me cake. So why haven’t you ever done that since after our marriage? let’s talk about that.”
In her response, Toyosi reminded him that Daniel had never knelt for her either since he proposed. Daniel quickly defended his stance, asserting that culturally, men don’t kneel before their wives.
“I haven’t done that since proposing because traditionally the man shouldn’t be kneeling. I’m your lord and you fail to recognise that, I’m your husbandman. But yeah, what role does culture play in a relationship? How positive is culture in a relationship?”
Toyosi, however, pointed out that kneeling is not part of Daniel’s Efik culture and questioned where the idea of it came from.
Toyosi replied, “It’s funny for us because women don’t kneel in your culture, the Efik culture, so it’s not like it’s something you grew up seeing and longing for your wife to kneel sort of thing.”
“But I’ve lived in Lagos all my life and I understand Yoruba culture. I even find myself bowing to greet the elderly, Efik men don’t do that, we don’t bow. We stand upright and say hello sir. I started doing that because of ehaee I am and because I married you, a yoruba woman. I don’t mind doing it, I’d bow for the elders. You’d kneel for the elders so why can’t you kneel for me?”
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