Former U.S. President Barack Obama discussed his perspectives on modern masculinity, emotional intelligence, and the significance of diverse male role models during a recent episode of the IMO podcast, hosted by his wife Michelle Obama and brother-in-law Craig Robinson.
In a new episode, Obama stressed the importance of young boys having access to a variety of male influences beyond just their fathers. He emphasized the unique contributions that LGBTQ friends can make in demonstrating empathy and kindness—qualities he considers vital for raising well-rounded young men.
“That’s one of the things boys need—not just exposure to one guy, even if he’s a great dad. He can’t be everything,” Obama said, reflecting on his early experiences with Michelle’s extended family and the varied expressions of masculinity he observed there.
Obama recounted how one of his favorite college professors, who was openly gay, challenged his preconceptions and contributed to his emotional growth. He attributed those interactions with shaping his understanding of empathy and the importance of inclusive perspectives in male friendships.
“You need that person in your friend group,” he said. “So that if you have a boy who’s gay or non-binary or whatever, they have someone to look to and think, ‘Okay, I’m not alone in this.’”
Obama encouraged men to foster a broader sense of community for their children—one that values emotional intelligence and representation. He also noted that progressive spaces have sometimes placed a strong emphasis on supporting girls while unintentionally neglecting the needs of boys.
“As progressive parents, we’ve sometimes made the mistake of only talking about what’s wrong with boys, instead of highlighting what’s right with them,” he said. “That’s been a mistake, and I think people are beginning to realize that.”
The former president expressed optimism that today’s young men are starting to redefine masculinity in healthier, more inclusive ways. However, he cautioned against completely abandoning traditional values, pointing out that certain aspects of “old school” manhood—such as chivalry and responsibility—remain valuable and worth preserving.
A Gentle Reminder: Every obstacle is a stepping stone, every morning; a chance to go again, and those little steps take you closer to your dream.
Nnamdi Okoli