Speaking on the most recent episode of the “WithChude” podcast, Bolaji Idowu, the lead pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre, talked about the difficulties he had growing up in a polygamous household and the lack of a relationship with his father.
He recalled how his stepmother would keep him from approaching his father, causing him to feel rejected and distant.
The cleric also shared an incident he kept hidden from his father, who had unexpectedly shown up at his uncle’s house with his stepmother.
“I have been a victim of emotional issues. Just my background. I was raised without a father. I have no memory of my father hugging me,” he said.
“I came from a polygamous background and it was so bad because of the arrangement it was in the family. If my father is in a place and I am with him, if my step-mum steps into that same place I have to go. That she cannot set her eyes on me.
“So, just imagine how a seven-year-old child interprets that. The thing about being a child is that you cannot interpret the complexities of what goes on in life.
“I remember I was just about eight or nine and I had gone to see my uncle. They stayed in this lovely house. And my father pulled a surprise visit with my step-mum. I had not seen him for like three or four months.
“My uncle just said the word to me that ‘your dad and your step-mum are here, get going now. I could not even have the opportunity to see my dad. I could not afford the driver. I remember I walked home that day because I did not know how to use the bus system. I cried because I felt rejected that I was not good enough.”