Pastor Bolaji Idowu of Harvesters International Christian Center, a Nigerian pastor, has counseled women to refrain from serving as “builders” in their relationships.
“Many women go beyond emotional support by trying to fix their partners’ personal and financial issues, which often leads to frustration,” the pastor remarked during a recent church session in Lagos.
He clarified that women are not supposed to take on all of their men’s issues or save them; rather, they are called to support them.
He said: “You are not called to build your man; you are called to support your man. Some of you have turned into Bob the Builder ‘My car is bad,’ and you say, ‘I will fix it.’ ‘I can’t pay rent,’ and you respond, ‘I’ll pay for you.’ You are meant to support, not to be the builder.
“Once you become Bob the Builder, you also turn into Mother Theresa always correcting and trying to manage him. You pick up a struggling man, build him, and when he gets better, he tells you, ‘I don’t see us that way.’ That’s because you weren’t building the romantic side; you were busy fixing him.”
I feel Pastor Bolaji Idowu is emphasizing the importance of allowing men the space to handle their own challenges without unnecessary interference. By understanding and respecting their need for independence in problem-solving, women can foster healthier relationships built on trust and mutual support. Ultimately, empowering men to address their issues while offering encouragement can lead to stronger, more balanced partnerships.
Live with Purpose, Love with Passion. Remember to be happy
One 
Rose Ajieh
