A Nigerian Woman Shares How She Remained Authentic When Meeting Her In-laws

Blessing McColumbus, a Nigerian woman who has been married for more than 20 years, has disclosed that she has remained loyal to herself and has not compromised her values in order to get acceptance from her husband and his family.

In a Facebook post that went viral, the mother of two and nurse from the UK revealed that she got married as a rebel and made it plain to everyone that she wouldn’t put up with any shit from them in order for their son to marry her.

“I did not get married as a desperate woman that didn’t have alternatives. I even left my rent, running for a long time before I stopped it. I was still ready to rent another, if any push, turns to any forking shove,” she wrote. 

I am repeating myself again. I didn’t get married as a woman that was seeing marriage as her final destination, as a woman that cannot do without marriage.

I got married with a lot of attitudes. Oh, the attitudes that are not aligning with being a wife material at all.

I actually got married as a potential rebel. With lots of dialogues about our future together. Laying it all out before him, that I will not last if he turns out to be anything close like my father and men like him. That wedding me with a certificate and a ring, will not stop me from divorcing him tomorrow. That I am not available for any abuse or disrespect. I had enough, growing up with my bedevilled relatives.

I did not go cleaning his house and washing his clothes to be accepted.

I did not enter market with my money to buy groceries for him, as ezigbo mmadu.

I did not accept that I can be conditioned before I marry him.

I found him, he loved me, we courted and got married as matured adults that has so much respect, trust, understanding, and love for one another.

I did not visit my In-law them to form…Jackie Chan as their labourer, super woman, that can do everything while others relax with their legs elevated on stools and tables.

I did not lick the asses of my in-law them. I did not lower my standard to be their foot mats, just to be accepted.

Rather, I arrived before my in-law them, on a coloured hairstyle, free-girl top, and a short. My personality was intimidating enough. I came prepared, not to be looked down on.

I made my status known to be a bitch, that will not take any shíț from anyone, because I came to marry. That I will love and respect anyone that loves and respects me, and will not be available for any form of shallowness or belittling.

I raised my bar so high and left it hanging high there, until date.

Aka nwanyi o bula wetelu, ka her husband, and her in-law them, ji eso ya.

If you like, as you find the man you want to spend (the rest of your life) with, become foot-mat, dry cleaner, charity organisation, cook, gate woman, and me-ruwa for him and his family. They will help you lower your already low bar, to the lowest, then crush you on top to vacate the marriage with thirty children, later. 

Then you end up being a struggling and dying single mother. 

I am tired of most of you women.

E deh too much for una body. Una too like to deh rubbish unaselves, just to answer Mrs.

Let me repeat myself again…. Na the way you take keep yourself, be the way your husband and his people go take respect or disrespect you. 

This year is our two decades and half, together as husband and wife. Loving and respecting each other more than before.

Slàvïng for a man and his people, does not make you a better woman. It makes you a proper slàvè. That’s why even those that are beneath you, on a normal level, ride the hèll out of you, as per in-law them.

Live with Purpose, Love with Passion. Remember to be happy

‎One ❤️❤️❤️

‎Rose Ajieh