Motherhood: Breaking Generational Cycles: Raising Children Differently (5)

Hello Great Mothers!

As discussed in the previous article, fear-based parenting involves the use of threats, punishment, and intimidation to control children’s behaviour, with the belief that when we instill fear into our children, they will automatically obey and respect us.

This method of parenting was mostly used by parents in the 70s, 80s, and early 90s. According to psychologists, this method of parenting causes more harm to our children, it affects our relationship with them, their self-esteem, makes them rebellious, etc…

Psychologists encourage us all to adopt the respectful parenting method of nurturing children. It involves parenting with understanding, empathy, and communication. It entails setting clear boundaries, and positive reinforcement.

To shift from fear-based parenting; we must adopt parenting methods that promote trust, communication, and positive reinforcement, thereby leading to a healthier parent-child relationship.

How can this cycle of parenting style be broken?

We can break this cycle and raise independent, and emotionally intelligent children by shifting from control to connection. We can achieve this by adopting the following;

1)Ensuring we discipline with Guidance, Not Intimidation.
Replace fear-driven punishments with logical consequences that teach responsibility. Instead of “You’re grounded for talking back,” try, “Let’s talk about why respectful communication matters.”

2) Encourage Open Dialogue

Give your children room to ask questions and express their opinions without fear of backlash. This fosters critical thinking and helps them navigate real-world challenges with confidence.

3)Lead with Respect

Our children model what they see us do, and say. Speak to them with the same kindness, patience, and respect you expect in return. Instead of demanding obedience, cultivate cooperation. With patience and love, this can be achieved.

4) Encourage Independence

Give your children the opportunity to make age-appropriate choices. Let them decide what to wear, how to solve a problem, or express their needs, but with great supervision, and correction when necessary. This builds decision-making skills and self-trust.

Also Read: Motherhood- Nurturing Tomorrow’s Leaders with Love (3)

Fear-based parenting may produce short-term obedience, but respect-based parenting creates lifelong trust. When children feel safe expressing themselves, they grow into adults who can confidently navigate the world, stand up for themselves, and make wise decisions.

We can raise children who respect us because they love and trust us—not because they fear us.

What are your thoughts on this? How do you balance discipline with respect in your parenting journey? Share in the comments.