Lifestyle
7 Phrases That Instantly Reveal A Person’s True Intentions – Psychology Expert
Our words have power, even though they may occasionally appear subtle or unnoticeable. When combined with deliberate body language and targeted phrasing, our verbal communication can reveal a great deal about our objectives, character, and personality.
According to psychology experts, it’s critical to pay attention to how people speak to us as well as what we intentionally say to them. This is because some words or phrases can instantly betray someone’s genuine intentions.
According to a study that was published in Plos One, the secret to establishing wholesome connections and enduring relationships that enrich our lives is to feel heard and respected during conversations.
We undermine our capacity to genuinely connect with people when we fail to see the cues or nuanced expressions that could jeopardize that sense of security in our talks, endangering our safety, welfare, and boundaries.
According to psychology, these 7 expressions immediately disclose a person’s genuine intentions.
- No offense, but…’ Someone is seeking a way to escape responsibility, not to spare the feelings of others if they cover up their cruel remarks or manipulation by calling it “brutal honesty” or “bluntness.”
In her book “Leading with Compassion,” professor Louay Safi makes the case that those who are dedicated to fostering healthy connections lead with compassion in their interactions, constantly seeking out chances to make room and give others more authority.
When you lead a hurtful comment with a phrase like “no offense,” not only does it dismiss and invalidate a person’s response, it cultivates an atmosphere where they fail to feel valued and understood in their vulnerability — the true intention of a malicious or self-indulged person.
- ‘Trust me’
Especially in close relationships, like one with an intimate partner, asking for trust can be one of the phrases that instantly reveal a person’s true intentions, according to psychology experts like speaker Shane Snow.
Trust is a practice that has to be embodied and perceived by others through support, intentional language, and actions — not a phrase like this that urges people to trust without context.
Whether they’re trying to convince you of something or push you to rearrange your boundaries, a phrase like “trust me” can be deceivingly reassuring. Let someone show you that they’re capable of earning your trust, rather than push you to adopt their perspectives or intentions at face value.
- ‘I don’t want to hurt you’
Someone who has your best intentions in mind, especially in a close or long-term relationship, typically won’t use a phrase like this to encourage you to think about their hurtful behaviors or future deceit.
Not only is this phrase a way for someone to avoid accountability — hoping that their warning will remove some of the responsibility they don’t want to take on — it’s actively dismissive of a person’s true vulnerability and emotions in conversation.
According to a study published in the Personality and Individual Differences journal, a person who fails to take accountability or uses a phrase like this to set up their future victimhood can be driven by a pathological need for validation or moral superiority. To address a person like this, ensure you’re actively communicating and setting appropriate boundaries.
- ‘I’m just saying’
Trying to hide from accountability through the disguise of their hurtful language, a person may reveal their true intentions by using a phrase like “I’m just saying” instead of apologizing or rewording their misguided perspectives.
Psychology expert Leon F Seltzer argues that defensiveness from an emotionally manipulative person may take many forms, from denying and dismissing other people’s responses to using phrases like this one that defend their hurtful statements. Instead of owning up to their actions, they encourage other people to adopt the shame or discomfort they feel, arguing that it’s another person’s fault for reacting in a certain way, rather than their own.
While it may seem subtle in passing conversations or heated arguments, this defensiveness and innate sense of victimhood can sabotage healthy relationships, leading to less productive communication and growing resentment.
- ‘I’m fine’
A phrase like “I’m fine” can be subtly convincing in passing conversations, but more often than not, it’s a way for people to camouflage their true emotions, as psychologist Margaret R Rutherford suggests, and emotionally disconnect from vulnerability and honest emotional expression.
Often recognized as a phrase with deeper meaning in many relationships and our society as a whole, the phrase “I’m fine” can encourage people to avoid truly addressing their emotions. Instead, they suppress them, leaving them to grow unacknowledged and resentful — waiting to surface later in an even more uncomfortable way.
- ‘You wouldn’t understand’
Especially in a relationship with someone you’re supposed to trust and feel secure with, a phrase like this can reveal someone’s true intentions and feelings about you — causing you to feel less comfortable and competent in their presence. When someone doesn’t trust you or feel confident in your intellect, they may use subtle phrases like this to demean your contributions to a conversation.
Not only is this intended to spark self-doubt in you, but it also supports their misguided sense of superiority. They’re showing you that they don’t view you on the same playing field as them, even if you’re in a partnership or relationship.
- ‘Don’t take it personally’
Everything we do — from our interactions at work to our conversations with friends and moments of mindfulness amid the chaos of our routines — is personal. What we choose to say, not say, act on, and react to is personal.
When someone hurts you or says something dismissive only to follow it up with a phrase like this, it’s not just a means for them to avoid taking accountability, it’s a reflection of their true intentions.
It’s not your reaction or “overreaction,” as a toxic person may try to suggest, that’s encouraging them to use a phrase like this, it’s their discomfort with having open conversations and apologizing for hurtful behavior. They’d prefer to attack and dismiss your reaction to their manipulation or condescension than take accountability for their bad behavior.
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