Thierry Henry has admitted to suffering from depression during his playing career.
In a new interview, the France and Arsenal icon told Steven Bartlett that he spent his Covid-19 solitude in Montreal ‘crying every day’ and traced his problems back to a painful upbringing.
Henry, 46, who currently manages France’s under-21 squad, claims his father, Antoine, regularly chastised him on the football pitch as a boy.
Despite winning the World Cup with France in 1998 and becoming Arsenal’s all-time greatest goalscorer, Henry claims he struggled to find contentment and fulfilment in his achievements.
“Throughout my career, I must have been in depression,’ he told Bartlett’s The Diary Of A CEO show.
“Did I know it? No. Did I do something about it? Obviously no. But I had adapted in a certain way.
“I was lying for a very long time because society wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say.”
Thierry Henry compares his entire playing career to wearing a ‘cape’ since he spent his infancy trying to please his father and then his entire playing career attempting to please others.
“Everything came at once, especially during the Covid time,” he said.
“I knew it before but I was lying to myself. I was making sure those feelings weren’t going too far, I put the ‘cape’ on. But when you’re not a player anymore, you can’t put that ‘cape’ on anymore.
“We tend to run instead of facing our problems, that is what we do all the time. We try to stay busy, we try to avoid the problem or not think about it.
“Covid happened and I asked ‘why are you running, what are you doing?’ I was isolated and not being able to see my kids for a year was tough. I don’t even need to explain that one.
“Something like that had to happen to me to understand vulnerability, empathy, crying. Understand that emotions are emotions. Anger is normal but don’t become angry. Jealousy is normal but don’t become jealous.
“I was crying almost every day for no reason, tears were coming. I don’t know why but maybe they were waiting for a very long time.
“I don’t know whether that needed to come out. It was weird, but in a good way. There was stuff I couldn’t control and I didn’t try to.
“You have been told since you’re young, whether at home or in your job, ‘don’t be that guy, don’t show you’re vulnerable. If you cry, what are they going to think?’
“I was crying but, technically, it was the young Thierry crying. He was crying for everything he didn’t get.”
Henry recalled a day in his adolescence when he scored six goals in a 6-0 win for his junior team and his father was still unsatisfied.
“I was 15 and you can already see if someone is good or not good. We won 6-0 and I scored six goals,” he said.
“I knew the aura of my dad, I could tell if the man was happy or not.
“I turned around, I can tell you from any posture whether he was happy or not happy. We arrived in the car, there is silence. I am like, shall I talk or not talk? That was how we were.
“He said: ‘Are you happy?’ Should I answer? ‘Yeah’. “Yeah but you shouldn’t be because you missed that goal, missed that cross, whatever.”
“We arrived at my mum’s house, I’m walking like this [head down] and she asked: ‘Did you lose?’ It was often like that.’”
When it came time to return to Montreal after spending time with his children after the lockdown limitations were lifted, Thierry Henry said he had an epiphany.
As a result, he resigned as head coach of MLS club CF Montreal prior of the 2021 season.
