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Biola Adebayo Shares Her Surrogacy Journey To Encourage Other Women

Caramel-skinned and scandal-free, Biola Adebayo is a graceful woman who brings joy to her audience when she appears on film.

The Bible verse that reads, “Weeping may endure through the night, but joy comes in the morning,” is best shown by her. Her happy morning has ended, and the hostess of the well-known YouTube program Talk to B is allowing other women to be warmed by the lovely rays of her morning.
She talked candidly about meeting her husband, their early years together, and her surrogate journey to motherhood in this interview.
She also strongly urged internet users to refrain from harassing celebrities on social media since they are unaware of their suffering and grief.
Let’s talk about life before marriage? How did you handle the societal pressures?
Let me say that I am one person who doesn’t allow people’s opinions to push me around because I strongly believe in God. I know what I want, and I won’t want to bend my belief because of your feelings. It’s not that no men were coming, but I’m kind of extraordinary. I wanted someone whose energy matches mine, so I waited for my perfect man, and so here we are today. Glory be to God.
How did you meet your husband?
I met my husband in a programme I went to anchor. He was there to represent his company with their staff. I had changed into my second dress when I heard a loud voice scream, “Wow, you are beautiful”. Although I couldn’t see the person’s face, I heard it, and I replied with thank you immediately. He said his staff members were like, “Kilo sele?” What happened? Because he’s not the talking type. He waited till after the event ended so he could talk to me, not knowing that I had left through the backstage. He knew that I was an actor, but he wasn’t familiar with my face because he doesn’t watch movies like that. When he got to know that I wasn’t coming out, he left and went back to watch the video of the event where he was receiving the award I presented to him and saw me exchange greetings with his friend, who came to the stage with him. He called his friend to find out if he had my contact. Unfortunately, that friend has been asking me out for over two years, but we were just friends. The guy didn’t give him my number and even stopped picking up his calls because of his pressure. Later on, he went to one of his big sisters, who is close to people in the movie industry. He asked if she could help him get my contact. She obliged him. When he eventually called me with his polite approach, I gave in immediately. We have a lot of things in common: we didn’t date for too long. We got married after six months of knowing each other.
What were the qualities you had been looking out for in a man who would be your husband?
I know my standards, which were that I wanted a believer, a man who wanted us to stay in Nigeria because I didn’t want to “Japa”. I had a lot of men who wanted to marry me staying abroad, which I didn’t want. I was never desperate about marriage, at all. I patiently waited, knowing that in God’s own time, He would bring my husband. I wanted a playful man because I am on the quiet side. I was particular about being a friend to my husband and one thing I love about him again is that he made his intentions known just right on time.
How come we didn’t see any signs of marriage until you posted your civil wedding pictures?
Honestly, I never thought it was necessary. It’s my life, after all, I made my first post about us on our way to the registry, and before anyone could call and start digging, I had already got back home from the registry. My registry wedding was 27th and the main
So, after the wedding, what was it like for someone like you who is a superstar and serial entrepreneur? Tell us how you are coping?
Well, though we have a lot of similarities, there were differences as well. The first year was very challenging. I am not going to lie, but I will thank God for the life of my husband and even myself. I am a very patient person and you know men’s ego will always want to come out to play. I am a very busy person. If you are not the understanding type of man, you might not be able to cope with me. The beginning of the marriage wasn’t that pleasant because I was always busy, and sometimes my husband wanted to go out to have fun, and I would be like ‘Babe, you can go alone’, just for me to at least do my things. We fought, we argued, but we never disrespected each other. My kind is not the type that will marry a typical African man because I hate drama. I can’t stand verbal attacks; once I see that you are dishing out insults, I know it might lead to physical assault, but I would rather leave.
Okay, how did the journey of failed IVF (in-vitro fertilization) and surrogacy go for you, and why did you choose to share with us?
(Hmmm!) I had to share so it could liberate a lot of marriages and homes, especially for women. So many people are doing surrogacy and hiding it, making it look like it’s a no-go area because what would society say? I came out to share the truth about my motherhood journey because I feel so many people are dying in shame of “what will they say.” If over 98 per cent can give me accolades for saying the truth, and only two per cent are raining abuses, I don’t care as long as I know what I did was to help people in my shoe. In my case, I have done so many medical tests, and all kept saying there were no issues. I felt there was something wrong somewhere and I decided to go for what I thought could give the result I needed. Before I took that decision, I realized that I had never been pregnant before. Back then, some of my friends used to say it’s good for a lady to test their fertility state before getting married by getting pregnant and then aborting it, but that was never a good option for me because it’s weird. When my husband and I discussed this IVF, he kept on saying God had given us powers to do exploits, so I shouldn’t panic. We were both on the same page and decided that once six months pass and nothing had happened, we were opting for IVF. Before then, so many people were questioning why my husband had to be that old before getting married. Hope he has not kept a child somewhere and I will be like I am almost 40 too and I don’t have any child anywhere.
How did you deal with the expenses?
It wasn’t even about the money, but the pain and trauma. Do you know, sometimes when I think about it, I still get emotional because it was too painful?
And you still appear on social media with your smiles like all is in good shape?
You know, we just have to, and that’s why I kept saying people should stop bullying “stars” because you don’t know what people are going through despite their daily posts with beautiful clothes, smiles and all.
How did the IVF go?
Several IVFs cycles were done and they all failed. We later went for surrogacy, which didn’t work at first till we got here by God’s grace. We tried five times, yes! We had failed once and had so many issues, but the fifth one worked. My husband and I kept it to ourselves that even my PA, who is the closest person to me didn’t know. I told my sister to come over to help me take charge of so many things. I never opened up to anyone until we were 32 weeks old. I sat everyone down to tell them and they were all like, what? If I had my way, I would not tell anyone, but because I needed to start buying baby’s things I am sure people at home would question me. All was just between my husband, the doctor and I. We kept it to ourselves, and God was with us all through. The purpose of granting this interview is to advise my fellow women, especially when you are older. Although it might not be cheap, you can instead of dying in self-pity and wallowing in shame every time. I remembered that I had to stop posting my people’s baby for celebration because of the comments that hit me steadily; you see under the post those prayers that will make me cry in prayers to God. In my case, I didn’t wait; I discussed with my husband, and we moved almost immediately. I hope that religious houses will start encouraging people on this take. There’s nothing wrong with it. Do you know that in Nigeria today, some people still see CS as an abomination? The saying, “I want to be like Hebrew women” has killed a lot of people. So many things need to be corrected.
Strong women aren’t simply born. They are made by the storms they walk through. It’s going to be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
Live with Purpose, Love with Passion. Remember to be happy
One ❤️❤️❤️
Rose Ajieh
